A Bruschetta Regretter

, , , , | Right | May 8, 2020

I overhear a coworker venting after hanging up the phone.

Coworker: “…so, I told her, ‘Ma’am, we don’t have a bruschetta-spinach salad. We have bruschetta as an appetizer, and we have a spinach salad.’ She got huffy and ordered a spinach salad. I hope she doesn’t get upset when [Delivery Driver] gets there. But man, she wanted to argue with me!”

About twenty minutes later, the phone rings and I answer it.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *Politely* “Hi, how are you?”

Me: “I’m doing great. How about you?”

Customer: *Suddenly yelling* “I’m doing terrible! I placed an order for delivery and I didn’t get my bruschetta spinach salad! I was charged for it!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me pull up the order. Okay, it looks like you were charged for [order] and a small spinach salad. Did you not get something?”

Customer: “Oh, I got it! I got the salad! But where’s my bruschetta spinach salad?”

I put two and two together.

Me: “We do not offer a bruschetta spinach salad. We have a spinach salad with [ingredients], and we offer bruschetta with [other ingredients].”

Customer: “I wanted the bruschetta! This is wrong!”

I put the woman on hold and turn to my manager to explain the situation. He decides to give her an order for free. The woman agrees and demands that it be delivered. A few minutes later, my manager tells me that the bruschetta is done and that it’s up to me to take it to her. When I get there:

Customer: “It’s about time! I pay good money to get my order right! This is coming out of your tip!”

I don’t mention that I’m not getting tipped for this trip anyway, especially since I am not a regular delivery driver. I also place a takeout menu in her bag, so hopefully, this experience won’t repeat.

A few weeks later, I’m working as a cashier again and I answer the phone, a customer placing a delivery for the same office building.

Customer: *Places order* “…and a bruschetta spinach salad.”

Me: “We have a spinach salad and a bruschetta appetizer. Are you perhaps after one of those? We don’t offer a ‘bruschetta spinach salad.’”

Customer: “No! That idiot girl last time told me that you don’t have it, but I know you do! I don’t want to have to call back to complain, and I don’t have a long enough lunch break to be dealing with this bulls***!”

It’s the middle of a rush and I snap.

Me: “Ma’am, nobody is trying to be dishonest with you. We. Do. Not. Have. The. Item. You. Keep. Trying. To. Order. We have two separate items. And to be completely honest, I feel that you are trying to run a scam to get free food. I do not appreciate you yelling at me, nor do I appreciate you insulting me or my coworkers.”

Customer: *High-pitched whine* “Well, how was I supposed to know?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you may not recall, but I do specifically remember placing a takeout menu in your bag the last time I brought you your free food. If you cannot find it, we do also have an online menu.”

Customer: *Screaming* “You b****! I don’t want to pay for this! I want my order for free! All of you f****** dip-s***s don’t know what the f*** you’re doing! This is f****** ridiculous!”

Me: *Flatly* “Madam, I have asked you politely not to insult my coworkers or me. I have also tried to explain in multiple ways what our menu offers, but you do not want to listen. I’m sorry, but I cannot give you your order for free just because we don’t have something you want. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “I TOLD YOU F****** B****ES THAT I’M NOT PAYING IF YOU DON’T HAVE MY F****** BRUSCHETTA SPINACH SALAD!”

Me: “Then we will not be able to deliver your order to you. Thank you for calling.” *Click*

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