A Bolt Of Frightening

(I clock into work and walk over to the tools and hardware department, and I see two of my coworkers talking to one customer. They both look really confused. I walk over and try to help.)

Me: “Can I help with anything?”

Coworker #1: *panicked look on his face* “Uh…”

Coworker #2: “Well…”

Customer: *raises his hand to see his ring crushed onto his finger and his finger swelled to twice it’s normal size* “I want you to cut this off.”

Me: “Uh, sir, you need to go to the hospital!”

Customer: “I ain’t goin’ to the hospital!”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, we already told him that. We called the manager, and he’s refusing to come out.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we can’t cut that off of you! Maybe you can try the fire station.”

Customer: “No, just get the bolt cutters and cut it off.”

Coworker #2: “Sir, you wouldn’t want to lose a finger.”

Customer: *raises his other hand to show two missing fingers*

(I don’t really think he cares if he loses the finger.)

Customer’s Wife: “Could we buy a pair of bolt cutters and cut it off ourselves?”

Me: “Technically, yes. But I’m not recommending you to do that, and if you do, you can’t do it on store property.”

Customer’s Wife: “Okay, thank you very much.”

(About ten minutes pass, and I see his wife again. She just walks by and says:)

Customer’s Wife: “Well, we tried.”

(I go to the bolt cutter aisle and find blood all over the floor. The guy tried to cut the ring off in the store, it didn’t work, they got blood everywhere, and they just threw the bolt cutters back into the pile!)