A Blizzard Of Ungrateful Customers

(Our area is undergoing the harshest winter we have seen in over forty years. Buildings have collapsed from all the snow, and many stores have to close several times on really bad days because no one can even drive to work. The cities and counties have to get outside help to keep up with snow and ice management. Today is pretty bad, but several workers can get to our store so they decide to open. Our parking lot is a mess, though, because the company that does our lot’s snow removal is behind and it is still snowing like crazy. We get about five customers that come in this day. We have one bag of salt left and regularly salt the front entrance of the store. All the stores that sell salt are out because of the high demand. A lady charges in from the blizzard outside.)

Customer: “Your parking lot is terrible! My husband just slipped when he got out of the pickup! What are you going to do about it? Where is your manager?!”

Me: *genuinely concerned for the man* “Hi. I’m so sorry your husband slipped; is he okay? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

(Her husband is standing behind her looking at products.)

Customer: “I asked you what you’re going to do about your parking lot!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, since it’s still blizzard conditions, there isn’t much we can do. The company we hire to do it is behind and it’s still snowing six inches per hour. Us workers may get stranded here today, in fact.”

Customer: “Well, couldn’t you salt it?!”

Me: “The trucks that come and clear it do spray a salt-gravel mixture.”

Customer: “But you said they are behind schedule, so why don’t you salt it?”

(The customer says this like it’s a completely normal request.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only have one bag of salt for our store entrance and I can’t salt the lot with that.”

Customer: “Why not? Your customers are falling! You need to go salt that lot. I expect you to fix this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but are you saying that you want me to hand-salt the entire parking lot with one small bag?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: *fed up at this point and worried we will get snowed in* “Well, ma’am, this is the Christmas season and a time for miracles, but I’m not Jesus, so I can’t magically turn a bag of salt into the 100 bags it would take to salt that lot, and I’m not going to put myself in danger by going out in those conditions.”

(My coworkers are watching this interaction with big eyes.)

Customer: “Well, that is very inconsiderate of you! And if someone dies out there, you will have a lawsuit on your hands!” *turns to her husband* “Honey, did you get the pens? Good. Let’s buy them and leave!”

(I ring them up for one freaking pack of pens, all while the customer is giving me the stink eye and ranting about inconsiderate stores.)

Me: “Thanks for coming in today, and ma’am, I just want to tell you how amazing you are.”

Customer: “Um, what?”

Me: “Yes, you see, I’ve never met someone who would risk life and limb in a blizzard for a pack of pens. Your bravery is to be congratulated!”

(I say this with the biggest, cheesiest grin on my face.)

Customer: “You are a rude b**** and I hope you get in a car wreck!” *stomps out into the blizzard with her husband in tow*

(Five minutes later, another customer comes in:)

Next Customer: “Excuse me, can you do something about the parking lot? My husband slipped getting out of the car.”

Me: *internally screaming* “I’m so sorry! We are actually closing early due to the blizzard, but hopefully, they will clean the lot tomorrow.”

(Us employees made the decision to close early and get home before we got stranded. Good thing, too, because we got almost three feet that day and the entire area was closed the next day except for snow crews.)

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