A Bird-Brained Excuse

(My family has just gotten a rescued Umbrella Cockatoo. One night my sister let him out without keeping an eye on him and he shredded my math homework which I first discovered about 15 minutes before we had to go to school the next morning. My math class was the first subject of the day so I had no time to redo it or even tape it together again.)

Teacher: “If everyone could take their homework out, then—” *looks around as sees I’m raising my hand* “Ms. [My Name], where is your homework?”

Me: [Teacher], I don’t have my homework today. My parrot ate it.”

Teacher: “I would assume a Junior like yourself would be too old to use such a terrible excuse as my dog—”

Me: “Parrot, ma’am. A cockatoo, to be exact, and it’s not a terrible excuse if it’s the truth.”

Teacher: “Fine, points for the twist but I don’t—”

(I reach into my bag and pull out a bag of the shredded homework and pour it out on my table. My teacher just stares in shock as I worked together a couple of pieces.)

Me: “If you look closely, I think this is part of question 13, and this could be the answer to number 25… or maybe it’s part of 16’s word question…”

(She told me to clean the mess up and she would give me a one-day extension to finish my homework without getting marked down for it.)