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A Big Mayo No No, Part 7

, , , , | Right | September 9, 2021

It’s my last day working the service desk at a big box store. A guest comes up to the desk and I greet him. In response, he says nothing but puts a greeting card covered in mayonnaise on the desk, along with an equally mayo’d receipt, and he keeps the bag away from me and in his hands. 

Normally, I wouldn’t take such an obviously ruined return — it clearly didn’t leave the store that way — but some changes to our return policy have tied my hands.

So, I have to hand-key the receipt into the system because the barcode is mayo-y and return the greeting card. 

Me: “So, for that, I can credit [amount] back to your credit card.” 

He tosses the bag he’s holding onto the counter.

Customer: “What about the broccoli salad? I called last night!”

Inside the bag is a leaking and gross container of broccoli salad that has clearly not been refrigerated since last night. If you’ve ever left mayo out on the counter, you know what it turns into, and that is what I am looking at. I’ve never felt sympathy for drooping broccoli before now.

Customer: “The boy who bagged my stuff last night didn’t do a very good job, and now this is all over my car!” 

I seriously doubt that. Our baggers are explicitly trained that food — even bottled, factory-sealed food — goes in separate bags from literally everything else, for just this reason. We supply plastic to-go boxes with lids for all our foods, but anyone can tell at a glance that they’re 1,000 miles away from leak-proof. He would have had to bag it this way himself, or he would have had to take the greeting card out of its bag and shove it in with his broccoli salad for this to have happened.

All he lets me get out is:

Me: “Oh—”

Customer: “Yes, ‘Oh.’ What are you going to do about my car?”

I try not to imply that he is an idiot with my tone.

Me: “Well, I can return the salad for you, but there is nothing we can do about your car.”

He invokes the almighty manager, and once she arrives, he goes into a gigantic spiel about how nobody apologized to him for broccoli salad spilling in his car, how none of the cashiers know how to bag properly, etc.

Then, he turns to me.

Customer: “Nothing personal, but you need to be trained. Show some empathy.” 

Manager: “My employee does not owe you an apology. I can see that you’re already being offered your money back for the card and the salad. That’s the extent of what we can do for you.”

Customer: “What about my car?!”

Manager: “Once our products are paid for, it’s no longer our responsibility, and we certainly don’t take responsibility for the way you transported it home.”

Customer: “But I called last night and—”

Manager: “And you would not have gotten a promise that we would pay for cleaning your car, sir. We simply do not do that. You already are getting the full amount back for your items. You may put your card in to get the money back on your card, but this is all that you’re getting back.”

The customer finally realized that he had hit a brick wall and took his refund before leaving, glaring daggers at us both. I’m so glad I moved on to a non-retail field!

A Big Mayo No No, Part 6
A Big Mayo No No, Part 5
A Big Mayo No No, Part 4
A Big Mayo No No, Part 3
A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

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