A Bible Story That Is Just A Story

(My parents are very conservative and traditional, and raised us kids to be as well. I’m 16, and my older sister has moved out to live with her boyfriend. Despite this, my mom can’t stop singing praises about her all the time, and I’m getting sick of it.)

Mom: “Did you hear? [Sister] is making 50 grand a year with her new job.”

Me: “That’s nice.”

Mom: “Why can’t you be more happy for her? It’s a good thing!”

Me: “I am.”

Mom: “She’s so smart and has guts and you should be more like her. Not a wimp!”

Me: “You mean go off and live with my boyfriend when I’m 18?”

Mom: “No! Not that! And no premarital sex either! I taught you both better! Disgusting!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Riiiight, and what do you think she and her boyfriend do at night? Stay home and read the Bible together?”

Mom: “Don’t be disgusting!”

(Mom didn’t sing praises about her anymore after that. Thank goodness.)