A Beguiling Bagel

(I work as a sandwich maker at a fast food bagel shop. We make our sandwiches in front of the customer so they can request changes as we build the sandwich. Our featured breakfast sandwich of the month is the sriracha bagel; it is basically a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel but with peppers and sriracha sauce. It’s a slow day, and a young man approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a sriracha bagel.”

Me: ” All right, what kind of bagel would you like that on? It usually comes on a plain bagel.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. A plain bagel, I guess. Oh, and can I get that with bacon instead of sausage?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I grab the bagel, slice it open and begin to assemble the sandwich. I go to get the peppers.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “Those are the peppers that go on the sandwich.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like peppers. Can you leave those off?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I leave the peppers off, and place the bacon, egg, and cheese onto the bagel. I’m about to put the sriracha sauce on the bagel.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that?”

Me: “This is the sriracha sauce. It’s what gives the sandwich its name.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like spicy things. Can you leave that off?”

Me: “Okay, sure. So, just to make sure: all you want is a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel?”

Customer: “Yea. Hey, why don’t you guys just have that on your menu?”

(I had to struggle not to say anything as the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich is the first thing listed under “Breakfast Sandwiches” on the menu. The worst part is when he got to the register he insisted on being charged for the sriracha instead of a bacon egg and cheese, and so he paid about a dollar more for his sandwich.)