A Battery Of Questions

(My boyfriend and I are having lunch with my parents and our family friend. I still live at home. My and my boyfriend’s vibrator has run out of batteries and I opened it up to discover they were a really obscure type of battery. My dad is a really tech savvy guy, so I asked him if he has any of this type of battery over dinner.)

Me: “Dad, do we have any of [battery type].”

Dad: “No, I’ve never even heard of those batteries before. What is it for?”

Me: “Oh, nothing really. It’s okay. I’ll find them online. It’s okay.”

Dad: “No, tell me what it’s for.”

Me: *blushes* “It’s nothing!”

Dad: “Tell me!”

Mum: *jokingly* “I bet it’s for a vibrator or something.”

(I look down, blush, and don’t reply.)

Mum: “IT IS, ISN’T IT?!”

Me: “[Boyfriend] bought it for me.”

Dad: “I’m going to drill his eyes.”

(He didn’t drill his eyes, but it’s taught my dad to be less nosy. He doesn’t ask what I need batteries or clean sheets for now.)