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A Battery Of Jokes

, , , , , , | Right | May 30, 2018

(I work at a small chain electronics retailer. We have to ask each customer for their phone number, name, and address. I usually don’t if I think it will cost me a sale, but sometimes I just have to. The customer has a right to refuse, and I usually let them know that if I sense any hesitation. Today, I try my luck with a customer buying a specialty battery.)

Customer #1: “Here! This battery! That’s all!”

Me: “Hi! May I have your phone number for the receipt?”

([Customer #1] throws up his hands and storms out before I can even tell him he can refuse. I begin voiding the order when I notice he left his book. I take it aside so nobody steals it. The customer storms back in for his book.)

Me: *while handing him back his book* “Okay, that will be $16.04.”

Customer #1: *perplexed that I would even dare try to ring the sale* “I DON’T WANT IT!”

Me: “Okay, hope your day gets better.”

([Customer #1] stares at me, then storms off. [Customer #2] reaches the counter.)

Me: “Hi! Can I have your phone number for the receipt?”

Customer #2: *jokingly* “Do I need to throw a temper tantrum, too, or can I just tell you no?”

Me: *serious but friendly* “I don’t need it unless you’re buying a cell phone, but in that case, the system would have your info, anyway.” *now jokingly* “I would also accept a picture of you in a zebra costume.”

([Customer #2] is caught off guard and is laughing throughout the purchase. My manager comes up to me after and makes a comment.)

Manager: “Well, you made one battery customer storm off angrily and another giggle on his way out.”

Me: “I guess you can say they were… POLAR OPPOSITES.”

(At this point, every customer and employee who knows anything about electromagnetism starts laughing.)

Me: “Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll be here all week.”

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