A Basket-case Looking For A Briefcase

(I am browsing computer chairs at a popular chain store whose employees wear red polo shirts. I am wearing a blue polo. A customer waddles up to me, eyes half open, and slack-jawed.)

Customer: “Do you sell briefcases?”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Do you sell briefcases?”

Me: “I said I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Briefcases?”

Me: “I am not an employee.”

Customer: “So, you don’t sell briefcases?”

Me: “…”

(This goes back and forth for a few minutes. I am about to lose my patience when I spot an actual employee nearby who is straightening the chairs. I gesture to him.)

Me: “He can help you find briefcases.”

(Without turning her head or closing her mouth, she turns her entire body in his direction.)

Customer: “Briefcases?”

Employee: “As a matter of fact, we do sell briefcases. If you’ll just follow me…”