A Baker’s Cousin

A customer buys a box of a dozen donuts from us. I put them in the box and am about to take payment when the customer comments disapprovingly.

Customer: “Oh, there’s only twelve.”

Me: “Yes, this is our dozen-donut box.”

Customer: “I thought since you’re a bakery you’d give me a baker’s dozen.”

Me: “Ah, well we don’t have a deal for that, but I could—“

The customer immediately calls over our manager, who seems to know them.

Customer: “[Manager’s Name], your employee is shorting me by one donut.”

Manager: “[My Name], is this true?”

Me: “They asked for our dozen-donut deal, which is for a dozen donuts. They were expecting—“

Customer: *Interrupting.* “I was expecting a baker’s dozen! Or do you not consider yourself a bakery anymore?”

Manager: “[My Name], how could you be so rude to a customer? Give them what they want right now, and give them a half-price discount.”

Steaming, I give the customer what they want while they look smug and flounce out the door. As soon as they’re gone I turn to the manager.

Me: “So we’re just giving thirteen donuts out for the price of six now?”

Manager: “Thirteen? They asked for a dozen.”

Me: “Yes they did, but they were expecting a baker’s dozen!”

Manager: “What’s that?”

Me: “Thirteen! That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

Manager: “Whatever. That a**hole is my cousin and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, he would have complained to his mom, who would have complained to my mom, and it would have been a whole thing.”

Me: “And your family drama is my problem?”

Manager: “It is now! Have a donut. And next time just give them what they want, trust me it’s not worth it.”

A few weeks later, the district manager is in the store, and this customer comes back.

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a birthday cake. I preordered it, should say “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

Me: “I see it, sir. That will be $45.99.”

Customer: “I want it half price.”

Me: “Okay, sir, that will be $23.00.”

The district manager, who I might have known was right there, jumps in real quick.

District Manager: “[My Name], what reason is there a discount on this order?”

Me: *Matter-Of-Factly.* “Oh, this customer is [Manager]’s cousin, and when he doesn’t get his way in the store he whines to his mommy, who whines to [Manager]’s mommy, who then whines at [Manager].”

The district manager looks at me, then at the customer.

Customer: “Well… that’s taken out of context, y’see—“

District Manager: “[Manager], can you step out here for a moment, please.”

My manager steps out, sees who is at the counter, and his shoulders visibly sag.

District Manager: “Your cousin is here to buy a full-priced cake for your aunt. Isn’t that lovely? Ring him up will you, and then see me in the office after.”

They both sheepishly finish the transaction, before he steps into the office. He comes out a few minutes later and resumes his work. The district manager comes over to me.

District Manager: “[Manager] won’t be pulling that again. And while Corporate doesn’t have a policy of banning customers, if his cousin comes back you have my permission to charge him double. I’ll even put it in writing for you.”

It was made an actual policy that THAT particular customer is to be charged double! I can’t wait until he comes back for another baker’s dozen!