This happens before the global health crisis. I’m a nurse, and I work at the one emergency room in town.

My doctor’s office is in the same building as an urgent care. There’s one sliding door, all glass, and you turn left for urgent care or turn right for the doctor’s office. It’s clearly marked.

It’s my day off, and I’m sitting and waiting for my appointment at my doctor’s office, messing around on my phone. I’m wearing Converse, jeans, and a hoodie that has the name of my partner’s workplace on it — not a medical job. I’m also the only person waiting on that side; the urgent care has standing room only.

A lady stomps in and walks up to my outstretched feet.

Lady: “I need help.”

I point to the check-in window and tell her to talk to them.

Lady: “No, you have to help me.”

Me: *Confused* “…I’m here for an appointment?”

Lady: “You’re a nurse! Get up and do your job!”

I’m now extremely concerned that this woman somehow knows my profession.

Me: “I don’t work here. I’m a patient.”

Lady: “Yes, you do! You’re a nurse.”

At that point, the desk staff opened the glass window and asked if they could help the lady. She stomped up to the window, demanding to immediately be seen. The staff figured out that she was not an established patient, didn’t have an appointment, and needed to go to the urgent care.

I was called back while the lady was demanding to see a doctor.

By the time I got out, she was gone. The desk staff told me they had to ask her to leave, and she did so while continuing to yell.

I still have no idea who she was. I assume she knew I was a nurse because she had seen me in the ER at some point. I never saw her again.

She was not in visible distress, walking normally with a steady gait. I’m not so heartless as to ignore someone in need of medical care. But if you’re able to stand at a window and shout at staff members, you’re probably not a critical patient.

I work in a grocery store in a fairly wealthy area. Most of our customers are pleasant people, despite the strange requests they sometimes make.

A customer in her early thirties has her kids (between seven and nine years old if I had to guess) with her, dressed all nice like they are either going to or coming from somewhere important.

There’s this milk that she likes to buy them — organic almond something or another. She buys a specific brand, and to be honest, it’s no different than any of the other four brands we carry. In fact, our store brand comes from the same facility as the one she’s looking for, so it’s probably the same stuff.

The shelf’s empty, so I get the old:

Customer: “Um, heeelllooo! Yeah… Over here! Yeah, this milk I want? It’s empty.”

This is spoken in the tone you’d expect from the kind of person who snaps their fingers at waiters.

I’m very busy, and I know we don’t have it. The warehouse has been out of stock for four days.

Me: “Sorry, it hasn’t come in.”

Customer: “So, nothing in the back? Are you sure?”

Me: “Sorry, no. I looked for it earlier and didn’t see it.”

Trying to explain even the most basic interworkings of a grocery store goes way over most people’s heads. The “backroom” is a magical place where we grow fruits and vegetables, milk cows, slaughter chickens, etc., so a simple “I didn’t see it earlier” usually works. It has nothing to do with stupidity in most cases. It’s that people don’t care. They just want their almond milk.

Customer: “Really? Are you suuure there’s nothing in the back?”

Me: “I’m sure. Again, I’m sorry.”

Well, she’s not having any of that. She’s now talking to me like I’m a four-year-old. She’s got this fake grin on her face, eyes wide. She’s nodding as the words come out.

Customer: “Well, I think the sensible thing for you to do would be to go take a look in the back for me. Could you do that for me? Make sure you look extra hard this time, though. I’m sure you have it.”

No, lady. That would be a waste of time. I know what’s in the back.

Me: “I’ll go take another look.”

I walk to the back and reply to a few text messages. I have a sip of my coffee. I’ve got stuff to do, but I gotta make it seem like I looked EXTRA hard.

I go back out.

Me: “Sorry, I checked every box, and we just don’t have it. I do have other brands, though.”

She starts going on what I call the “regular tirade”. It’s normally some combo of the same ten or so phrases customers like to say when they’re feeling slighted. She might have hit a good eight out of the ten, which is impressive.

Customer: “You never have anything I need! I’m just going to have to shop at [Competitor]! You’ve just lost a very loyal customer! You’re very rude, and you obviously don’t care, and now my poor children won’t have their milk!”

I apologize again, sounding like I reeeally care that she can’t get the almond milk with the picture she prefers printed on the carton. I advise her to fill out a formal complaint with customer service.

Customer: “How is a formal complaint going to change the fact that I’m going to have to give my kids this garbage for the next week?”

As she was saying this, she was attempting to grab the store-brand version of the almond milk from the top shelf, the one that was probably the one she wanted anyway but with a different label.

The milk she was trying to use as a prop for her little outburst must have been slippery. It slid right through her grip, and it hit the side of her cart just right so that we got a nice little splash of almond milk all over her groceries, as well as all over one of her kids’ fancy clothes.

She stood for a second, mouth agape, face a little red, let out a huff, and stomped away, beckoning her kids to follow. I went to get paper towels for her, but when I came back out, the only evidence of our encounter was the leaky almond milk carton on the floor.

I hope she really did start shopping at the competition.

I am working ticketing for an event on New Year’s Eve. Crowds are gathering to see the fireworks display at midnight, and to keep them occupied there is an outdoor fairground. A mother with her three young children are presenting their tickets around 7 PM.

Customer: “The fireworks aren’t until midnight! That’s like, six hours from now!”

Me: *Ignoring the incorrect math.* “Yes, ma’am. It’s the New Year’s fireworks.”

Customer: “But what about my kids? They’ll be exhausted and crabby by then!”

Me: “There are plenty of rest spots where you can—”

Customer: “Can’t you do the fireworks earlier? My kids are usually in bed by ten.”

Me: “You want us to set off the New Year’s fireworks before midnight?”

Customer: “No! Before ten! Listen!”

Me: “No, ma’am. The fireworks have been advertized for months for midnight. It’s a New Year’s celebration that is designed to take place at midnight.”

Customer: “Well that’s very inconsiderate for parents with young children! I’m going to complain to your manager!”

Me: “So, just to get this clear, you want to complain that the fireworks designed to bring in the new year, are happening when we bring in the new year?”

Customer: “Well when you put it that way you make it sound ridiculous!”

I am a wedding photographer. At the time of this story, I was relatively new to the industry, and I would get bookings based on the quality of my portfolio but not the quantity. Therefore, I would accept half my fee as a deposit, and I would ask for the other half when I was ready to send over the final photos.

Me: “Hi, [Client]! I’m happy to say that I’ve finished touching up your photos, and they’re ready for you whenever you are!”

Client: “Oh, wow, that was fast! Please send me the link!”

Me: “I would be happy to. I just need to settle the other half of my fee, first.”

Client: “Oh, yes, I’ll get that over to you soon.”

Since I was early, I didn’t think much of it. However, a few days past the original delivery date:

Client: “You promised me the photos were ready early! But I still don’t have them!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication. Yes, the photos have been ready for almost a week! I just need to settle the bill, and I can send them straight away!”

Client: “I can pay you at the end of the month.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

Annoying, but fine. The next day:

Client: “I still haven’t got the photos!”

Me: “Yes, because you said you would pay at the end of the month.”

Client: “You mean you won’t send them until I’ve sent you the money?!”

Me: “That’s usually how it works, yes.”

The client hung up on me. At the end of the month, I sent them a reminder email, and I sent another one the week after that. No response. I figured maybe they were going through some post-wedding budgeting issues, and they would get back to me when they could. I had plenty of other projects to keep me occupied anyway.

Three whole months later, I received a very angry call from an older woman. I recognize her as the mother of the bride.

Mother Of The Bride: “You absolute monster! You’re holding my daughter’s wedding photos ransom so you can get more money from her?! You send over every photo right this instant, or I am taking you to court!”

Me: “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Your daughter hasn’t paid me yet, which is why I haven’t sent the photos. I’m not holding any photos ransom!”

Mother Of The Bride: “That’s a lie! I paid you [amount] myself months before the wedding!”

Me: “That was a deposit, ma’am — 50%. I am owed the other 50% before I can send the photos.”

Mother Of The Bride: “You’re just making things up to get more money!”

Me: “If you check the contract that your daughter signed, you’ll see it’s quite clearly written there that my services are [full amount], with half paid before and the rest upon delivery.”

Mother Of The Bride: “Well… even if that’s true, that’s a ridiculous amount of money to charge for a few photos!”

Me: “I actually come in cheaper than the competition, ma’am.”

She hung up, and I didn’t hear back again so I assumed she had checked the contract and discovered I was right, and she was now figuring out what to do.

Amazingly, another three months went by, and I received yet another call, this time from the bride again.

Client: “How dare you?! You’re stealing my photos!”

Me: “Are we really going to go through this again?”

Client: “I can see my photos on your website! You have no right to use them! Take them down now!”

Me: “Oh, you mean my online portfolio. Yes, well, since you didn’t pay for them, I own them until you do. The pictures at your wedding came out so lovely that I had to use them on my site. They’ve helped me drum up quite a bit of business!”

For clarity, none of the pictures showed the faces of the client or her guests. I’d put up some candids of shoes, the cake, her dress, and a few other non-identifying features.

Client: “You’re profiting off of my photos!”

Me: “Yes, just like I was originally supposed to!”

A year after the wedding, the groom finally paid. He had no idea what was happening, but when he asked where the wedding photos were, he heard the long, drawn-out story. He was incredibly apologetic on the phone.

This story is part of the Editors’-Favorite-Stories Of-2023 roundup!

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It is Black Friday and most of the customers are in bad moods since they’ve been waiting for hours to come in and stand in more lines. One woman, however, is a special case. After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDS the laptop that is on sale despite it being sold out, she proceeds to tell us:

Customer: “I’ll have the store closed down because I work with the city, and I know the fire marshal! You have too many people in the store!”

She actually calls him!

We tell her to leave, and nothing happens to the store. However, we called the fire marshal as well to report what she said.

Fire Marshal’s Department: “Yes, we understand. There’s not a lot I’m allowed to tell you, but I can say that we’ve received similar complaints about a person matching your description pulling similar behavior, which is considered an abuse of power. We will take the appropriate action.”

We never saw her again!