Broken Relationship

(My boyfriend is usually a pretty grounded person, but every once in a while he comes up with some crazy thoughts. We’re cuddling on the couch watching TV when suddenly he comes out with this:)

Boyfriend: “You know what would be crazy? What if, instead of hind paws, cats had tiny human hands that were cat sized? Then instead of kneading you, they would grope you with their tiny back hands.”

Me: *stares at him bewildered* “Umm…what?”

Boyfriend: “Also! What if they spoke English instead of meowing? Not speaking English per se; they wouldn’t know what they were saying. But instead of saying ‘meow,’ each cat would have a single, random sentence they said over and over and over. Like one would always say ‘Where’s the butter?’ and another would only be able to say ‘I like short shorts!’ and so on, so that each cat had its own unique phrase it would say instead of meowing.”

Me: *hugs him* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I don’t know how I broke you, but I’m sorry I did.”

(Cue my boyfriend laughing hysterically.)