Funneling Out Of Control

(My sister and I decide to go to the local fair while our mom is attending a concert there. We decide to get a funnel cake and that we’ll get it all the way at the far end of the fairgrounds because we notice no one ever walks that far and all the employees seemed bored with nothing to do. My sister sits at a table while I’m off getting the funnel cake and a worker walks up to the table area with a sponge while I’m away.)

Worker: *mumbling really loudly and obviously, as though my sister is meant to hear* “All these f****** people making f****** messes and I have to clean it up… Sometimes I wish I could just kick their f****** asses.”

(The tables are actually fairly clean-looking. He continues mumbling like that with a lot of profanity while my sister just stares at him like a deer in the headlights. That’s about when I walk up to her with the funnel cake. He sees the insane amount of powdered sugar that I put on it and glares at me like I murdered his children.)

Worker: *points at another set of tables* “Over there! You sit over there by one of those three tables! Now!”

Me: “Uh…”

Sister: *whispering to me* “This guy’s crazy. Let’s go…”

Me: *after she explains to me what happened* “Maybe the reason the tables at that end look so clean is because Mr. Sunshine chases off everyone who tries to eat at them.”

(We ended up walking all the way back to the entrance and eating at some benches because there was nowhere else to sit. On the plus side, the people who made my funnel cake looked happy to finally have a customer, so at least the trip down to that end was worth it.)