Scoring An Eight On The Obnoxiometer

(My brother is eight years old. His third-grade teacher has decided that he probably has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and won’t take no for an answer, even though, since I’m five years older and DO have severe ADD, my mom has already had my brother tested. So Mom tells my psychiatrist what’s up and has him tested again.)

Psychiatrist: “All right, Mrs. [Mom], I’ve finished your son’s tests and I have my diagnosis.”

Mom: “And?”

Psychiatrist: “[Brother] does not have ADD. He’s just obnoxious… because he’s EIGHT. And anyone who can’t tell the difference doesn’t need to be teaching third grade.”

(My brother’s 24 now and we still tease him about having been officially “diagnosed” as obnoxious by a psychiatrist.)