It’s Not The Army That’s Barmy

(I am on my way to pick up some medicine for my boyfriend on my way to his house. I receive a free pedometer and tote backpack from the pharmacy. My brother meets us there to hang out before he goes back to his army base on Monday.)

Me: “Why did I randomly get a pedometer? I have no use for it, really.”

Brother: “It’s a weapon from the future you. When you are 70, you’ll be a leader of a Pacifist group.”

Me: “Bro, think about that for second. What would a pacifist group want with a weapon, and what kind of weapon would be shaped like a pedometer?”

Brother: “Well, maybe it’s an alternate dimension you and you hid it with yourself for safety so the others can’t use it. It’s nano-tech shaped like a pedometer.”

Me: “Okay, I can buy that.”

(My boyfriend gives us a look and goes back to his phone, shaking his head.)