Not Part Of The Bong Throng

(I’m a freshman, and I’ve been in the dorms for a whole day. My roommate and I, both guys, are still getting to know each other and the other people in our dorm. We have our door open, so people can come in and say hello. After dinner, a girl walks in. Our dorm is co-ed, with even floors for guys and odd floors for girls, so this isn’t too unusual. We both look up and smile, but she seems flustered.)

Girl: “Guys, we have a problem. I can’t get into too much detail, but my roommate and I had a miscommunication, and neither of us brought our bong. Can we borrow yours?”

(My roommate and I looked at each other.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have one.”

Girl: “Ha, ha, very funny. Please?”

Roommate: “We don’t smoke pot.”

Girl: “Guys, don’t worry, I’m not going to rat you out to the R.A. I’m not a snitch. But I really need to borrow your bong.”

Me: “We don’t have one. We don’t need one.”

(The girls look at us like we’re crazy.)

Girl: “You don’t smoke pot?”

Roommate: “No, we don’t.”

(The girl gives us both another odd look and leaves. We go back to our computers. Then a few minutes later, she reappears.)

Girl: “Are you guys SURE you don’t have a bong?”