Gorillas In The Blacklist

(We are on a field trip to the San Diego Zoo with a class and a couple of others. We approach the gorilla exhibit with a sign reading: “Please do not make direct eye contact with the gorillas.” So what does our teacher do? Exactly that.)

Teacher: “Oh, I gotta try this. But if I do this, I’m gonna do it right!”

(He searches the exhibit and finds the alpha male, a very, very large gorilla who is idly eating his food, and the teacher just mad dogs him. He stares directly at him, doesn’t look away for a second, doesn’t move, rarely even blinks.)

Gorilla: *starts noticing Teacher staring, gets up, and starts grunting and pounding his chest and generally makes a lot of noise*

(This begins to freak out all of the other gorillas and they do the same thing.)

Zookeeper: *quickly approaches the exhibit and looks at Teacher* “Sir? I need you to leave immediately. Where are you from?”

Teacher: “I’m from [High School].”

Zookeeper: “Okay. [High School] is banned. Please leave.”

(He didn’t make a huge fuss, but he was escorted out along with the rest of the students and chaperones on the field trip. He was lucky no one told the principal, but he’s still not sure if he and the school are still banned.)