Driving Down His Age

(I made the decision at 23 to go back to education and get a college qualification. Since I am going to be older than most of the other people in class I decide to let my beard grow out in the months before I started so that it is very obvious I am older. My plan works and whilst some people think I’m weird, everyone is aware that I’m about six years older than most of the other students. About three months down the line we are chatting over lunch.)

Classmate #1: “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can drink legally… I’m gonna get wasted on my first day.”

Me: “You think that… but give it a month, six at the most, and the novelty will wear off.”

Classmate #1: “What would you know about it?”

(At this, more or less everyone in the room looks at her.)

Classmate #2: “Umm… [Classmate #1], you know [My Name]… is 23, right?”

Classmate #1: “Stop lying! He’s 16.”

Me: “No, he’s telling the truth. I’m 23.”

Classmate #1: “Stop lying; you’re 16.”

(I pull out my driver’s license and show her, at which point a thought occurs to me.)

Me: “Hang on, I gave you loads of lifts in my car… How did you think I could drive?”

Classmate #1: “I thought you were driving illegally! I thought it made you kind of a bad boy…”

(At this everyone in the room burst out laughing. The course we’re studying is public services and almost everyone in the class wants to become a police officer.)