Recess: The Middle-Schooler’s Caffeine

(My mom is Dean of Students at my school, and this takes place at the beginning of the school year when it’s still the rainy season. During sixth grade lunch it starts raining too hard for anyone to go outside to play. Normally, kids would go to the gym to play, but this day they can’t because of a town meeting. I’m eating lunch with my mom today in her office when an angry sixth grader storms in.)

Student: “I want recess!”

(My mom, taken aback, tries to form a sentence.)

Mom: “I’m sorry, honey. But you can’t go into the outside. What can I do?”

Student: “Open the gym!”

Mom: “I can’t, sweetie.”

Student: “DON’T F****** CALL ME ‘SWEETIE!’ OPEN THE GOD-D*** GYM SO I CAN HAVE RECESS!”

(My mom, staying perfectly calm, ignores his cursing and shakes her head.)

Mom: “I can’t. There’s a meeting going on in there. You’ll interrupt it if you go in.”

Student: “WHERE’S MS. [Principal]?! SHE’S YOUR BOSS AND I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

(The principal suddenly walks in, having heard the entire thing, with an angry look on her face.)

Principal: “First of all, I’m not her boss. Second of all, Ms. [Mom] has been very sweet and calm towards you, even after you started cussing, so you owe her an apolog—”

Student: “YOU DON’T HAVE PROOF I F****** CURSED! I DON’T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR S***!”

(The student proceeds to curse his head off at both women before flashing a smug grin. The principal and my mom then pull out their phones, tap their screens, and play back the kid’s cussing and ranting. The student’s smile melts when it finishes, and the principal then points at me.)

Principal: “I have audio proof and an eye-witness that you were a jerk to Ms. [Mom] despite her being nice, and you were cursing. You are going to recieve a week of out-of-school suspension.”

Student: “F*** YOU! GIMME MY RECESS!”

(The student proceeded to run out of the office. I followed him to make sure he didn’t get in trouble, only to see him run into the gym with a basketball. Three seconds later, a police officer who was attending the meeting came out carrying the kid, who was still cussing up a storm. The kid was suspended for two weeks, and was almost charged with disturbance of peace by the officer.)