I Am Not A-Mew-sed

(This happens in fourth grade; Student #1 always forgets to do his homework and gives the dumbest excuses to the teacher.)

Teacher: “All right, please bring your homework to me.”

Student #1: *looks in bag* “Oh, shoot.”

Teacher: *sighs* “What happened this time? Did aliens take it?”

Student #1: “I know I usually make stuff up, but my kitten snuck into my bag and tore it up.” *pulls out kitten*

Whole Class: “Aww, can I hold him?”

Teacher: “May I see the paper?”

Student #1: “Um, it’s in tiny pieces.”

Teacher: “Give me your bag, now.”

Student #1: *reluctantly hands bag over*

Teacher: “Lets see: cat hair, trash… I don’t see any shreds of paper. Oh, here’s the homework, not completed, and other than being wrinkled it’s in perfect condition.”

(He let the kitten wander around and play in the classroom until the student’s mom came to pick the kitten up.)