Tour De Force Of Idiocy

(A group of 14/15 year old students have been booked in to come for a look around my factory and be given an introduction to the world of work. Normally I would avoid this sort of thing, but my boss agreed to do it, and then has taken the day off.)

Me: “Okay, my name is [My Name] and I—”

Student: “How old are you?”

Me: “I… what?”

Student: “How old are you?”

Me: “28. My name is [My Name], and I am responsible for—”

Student: “You don’t look it.”

Me: “I’m well aware of that. If I can continue? Okay. So, I’m responsible for three departments—”

Student: “You look like you’re 12.”

(Some of the students laugh; their teacher scolds him.)

Me: “Look, I have a lot to do, and don’t have time for this. Either you listen or leave. It is as simple as that.”

Student: “You can’t tell me what to do!”

Me: “Quiet down, and I won’t have to.”

(With that he shuts up for a while. I manage to get through most of my material, when…)

Student: *loudly* “Bored. Boring!”

(I’ve had enough, and motion one of the teachers towards me.)

Me: *in hushed tones* “That kid: he doesn’t go on the tour.”

Teacher: “No, please. He has been looking forward to this all week.”

Me: “Not a chance. It is a dangerous environment. We cannot have stupid behaviour out there. He is going to hurt himself or someone else.”

Student: *loudly* “Hey, twelve-y, can we go on the tour now?”

Me: “Well, most of you can. You, however, cannot.”

Student: “What?!” *whining* “Teacheeer…”

Teacher: “Sorry, but no. You knew this was a special occasion and you blew it. You can stay here with me.”

(I took the other students around on the tour. No one questioned me or acted up and everyone said they found it useful or interesting.)