Needs To Be Schooled On How To Use A Phone

Caller: “Hi, have I reached [School]?”

Me: “Yes, you’ve reached the office of—”

Caller: “I’d like to make an appointment for the 24th. Is that okay?”

Me: “Uh… appointment? Who with?”

Caller: “Oh, whoever’s best, I guess.”

Me: “Uh… what’s the nature of your appointment?”

Caller: “Well, it’s rather embarrassing. You see, I’ve got these spots all around me…”

(The call continues into a graphic description of the caller’s condition.)

Me: “STOP! Stop! Who are you trying to call?”

Caller: “You!”

Me: “This is [School] outreach office.”

Caller: “…not [School] medical associates?”

Me: “No. We’re not at all related.”

Caller: “Well, darn. Sorry to waste your time!”

(The caller hangs up, but rings again a moment later. It is the same caller.)

Caller: “OH MY GOD, [Name]! I just tried to call the doctor’s and called some school and told them ALL about my—”

Me: “STOP! YOU’VE CALLED US AGAIN!”

Caller: “Oh f***!”

(The caller hangs up. A minute later, the phone rings again.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [School]?”

Me: “Yes. This is [School].”

Caller: “I’d like to donate $20 to [fundraising program] by way of an apology.”