Those Who Afrikaan’t Do

(My history teacher is away on jury duty, so we have a substitute teacher. I was born in South Africa.)

Classmate: “So what language did you speak in Africa?”

Me: “English and Afrikaans. I learned both of them when I was little.”

Sub: “Don’t listen to her! Afrikaans isn’t a real language. She is making it up.”

Me: “No, it’s real. It is one of the thirteen National Languages of South Africa.”

Sub: “You’re lying.”

Me: “If it isn’t real, then why is it on Google Translate?”

Sub: “Stop lying before I write you up for disrupting class!”

(Needless to say, when my history teacher came back, he was unimpressed by the sub’s education.)

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