Contains Oats, Nuts, Honey, And Death

(I’m currently in a three-hour-long chemistry lab. In the fume cupboard next to me is a student who is really disinterested. He often leaves the lab for long stretches of time, or doesn’t show up at all, leaving his partner to scramble to finish. The lab supervisor is becoming increasingly irritated with him. I whisper in a low voice to my partner.)

Me: “I see that [Student] has vanished again.”

Partner: Yeah…oh, wait, nope. He’s over there.

Me: “Huh. Wait… is he eating?”

(Just as I say that, the lab supervisor notices him, and comes storming over.)

Supervisor: “WHAT are you doing?”

Student: “Er, eating a granola bar.”

Supervisor: “Why?”

Student #1: “…because I was hungry?”

Supervisor: “So you decided to start eating in the middle of a lab, while working with corrosive and mutagenic chemicals, while still wearing your gloves? No. Nope. Put that d*** bar away, and if I ever see you doing something like this again, you’re out of this lab.”