The Book Of Stupid Questions

(I’m asking my professor if I can borrow a textbook, as she rarely assigns work from it. Also, the book is more than I can afford with my job.)

Me: “I wanted to ask if I can borrow your copy of [book]. I work at McDonald’s, and that’s a whole two weeks pay for me. I could totally have it back to you tomorrow, and my work wouldn’t suffer for it at all. I’d even be happy to borrow an older version of the book, if you’re alright with it.”

Professor: “You didn’t buy the book? It’s on the syllabus.”

Me: “Well, some professors put books that never have required work on the syllabus. If I had bought all my books this semester, I would still be paying them off, and wouldn’t have any money for food at all. I tried to buy the ones that seemed like they would be used often, but the syllabus for your class didn’t list any assignments from [book], so I thought you wouldn’t mind if I didn’t purchase it.”

Professor: “You need to buy books for every class; why didn’t you buy the books for this class?”

Me: “I bought the other one, but the syllabus didn’t list any assignments under [book] and I really don’t have the money to purchase every book every class lists, so I held off to see if it would be used. And since this assignment is so small, I could finish it in a night. If you’re not comfortable letting me take it out of the office, I would be glad to take some quick notes and do my project off of that.”

Professor: “So you’re saying you don’t have enough money for books. If you can’t pay for books, why are you in college?”

(I laugh at her, shake my head, and leave my professor, looking very confused. I speak with the head of the department, who loans me his book, and got the project done. I got a 100%, too.)