She Has A-mother Thing Coming

(I am 23, although I’m often mistaken for much younger. I’m heavily pregnant and married. I’m coming in to the local high school to pick up my niece for her band practice. A mother sees me in the main office room.)

Mother: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Mother: “Oh, you should be sorry alright! You’re a disgrace! You went and got yourself knocked up, and now you’re skipping class! You shouldn’t be allowed to come here; this is a proud Catholic school and you are a simply disgrace to everyone! God will not look kindly on you!”

Me: “Excuse me?! I’m not a student here!”

Mother: *scoffs* “Oh, of course you are!”

(I’ve had a long, hard day, and this is just the last straw.)

Me: “Listen, I’m 23, and I’m just here to pick up my niece. I am married, and if I was Christian, I’m sure God would be happier with me beginning a healthy family than you for being so rude!”

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