Double The Danger, Double The Entendre

(We have a finicky projector in our classroom, and it’s resulted in the professor pushing the table up and climbing on top of it. Once again, the professor is on the table.)

Professor: “If this were any other professor, would you be concerned for my safety?”

Students: “Eh, we’re used to it by now.”

(The professor stoops down, picks up his drink, and stands back up.)

Student: “Standing on a table drinking. That’s just how [professor] rolls.”

(The next day, once again, our projector isn’t working.)

Me: “You shouldn’t be expecting anything else by now.”

(The professor then shrugs, gets on the table, and turns on the projector. This time, he decides to jump off the table instead of climbing off.)

Student #1: “Did you just see your life flash before your eyes?”

Student #2: “Well, I just saw your body flash before MY eyes.”

(The entire class enters an awkward silence.)

Student #2: “That… didn’t quite come out right, did it?”