Unfiltered Story #32501

(We are the same people from the entry titled Graded E for Effort. As the theme of vacation bible school was the sea, there was a night where all of the volunteers dressed up like pirates. As I have taken a theatrical combat class in the past, I have a large wooden Bogan strapped to my waist. I see one of our pastors leading kids around with a rather ornate safety on his waist so I approach him.)

Me: Hey, Pastor (name), cool dagger.

(Seeing the opportunity to excite some kids, he pulls his foot long dagger on me.)

Him: Haha! I have you now, scum of the ocean!

Me: *drawing my five foot long Bogan* I, too, have a weapon, foul cretin! On guard!

My friend: *stepping back with her hands up* I’ll just step back here… Don’t wanna get in the way…

Me: Surrender, Old Pirate Man. It is time for Captain Morgana Sylver to take charge here.

Pastor: Oh, yours is much larger than mine… I surrender now, Morgana Sylver, but I’ll be back! Mark my words!

(He leads the delighted kids away. All of the kids that came through crafts called me the “Pirate Lady”.)