Everyone Is Giving A Pizza Their Mind

(We are having a small gathering at a friend’s house, and we decide we should order pizza. Problems arise when it come to choose the toppings. Since my like and dislike in food are more than often opposed to the popular opinion, I’ll admit I’m difficult but I have a quite positive attitude about it.)

Friend #1: *our hostess* “Okay, time to choose toppings! I’d take ‘all dressed’ but [My Name], I know you are difficult and dislike most of those. I’m fine with everything, so why not start with you?”

Me: “Sure, well, I’m not that picky and can compromise. For example I’m good with any of the meats choices.”

Friend #2: “No, [Friend #3] and I are vegetarians; meats are unacceptable.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s forget meats. Moving on to veggies then. I propose mushroom?”

Everyone: “No!”

Me: “Okay, spinach?”

Everyone: “Ewww.”

Me: “Okay, so how about someone else propose something?”

Friend #2: “Pineapple?”

Friend #1: “I’m allergic.”

Friend #3: “How about bell pepper and olive?”

Everyone: “Yes.”

Me: “No?”

(A few more propositions and rejections (mostly from me) happen.)

Friend #3: *annoyed at me now* “Humpft! Can you just take them off?”

Me: “No. I’m done playing surgeon with my food. Come on, it’s pizza. Everything gets melted in the cheese; even when removed, it sucked in the juices and tastes. It’s just like you would not just take meats bits off and eat it anyway.”

Friends #2 & #3: “Oh, I see.”

Me: “What if we ask them to make it in two halves? One half your way, other half my way?”

Friend #3: “Would have been great, but I don’t think anybody really want to share your half.”

Me: “Okay. How about ordering two pizzas? I guess I can take a smaller one for myself and you can share whatever you want?”

Friend #2: “No, it’ll be too expensive this way.”

Friend #1: “So, what do we do now?”

Me: “How about taking it plain, just cheese? Should suit everyone restrictions.”

Friend #1: “What? No, it’s just so bland and tasteless.” *frustrated sigh* “It feels like a rip off.”

Me: “Well, who’s being difficult now?!”

(We finally settled for poutine.)