Putting The Pedal To The Metal To Get Out Of There

(It’s the first really warm week of the season and the neighborhood has decided to celebrate by playing really loud music, which I can hear because I’ve opened my windows. Eventually I have had enough and put on my own music to try to drown them out.)

Me: *to friends through Skype* “You know, I’m wondering if listening to really scary metal music with the window open is making my house the most theft-proof in the neighborhood.”

(About five minutes later:)

Kid #1 Walking By My Window: “Man, what the h*** is that dude listening to?!”

Kid #2 Walking By My Window: “I don’t know, but I feel like we should probably leave before he yells at us for standing too close to his property…”

Me: *back on Skype* “Wow, it’s like the neighborhood just answered my question!”

(Even after I turned it off about an hour later, I noticed there were no longer any kids playing in front of the house. I didn’t even have it up that loud!)