Yawn To Be Free

(I own a Doberman, and he looks fairly terrifying. A lot of people shy away from him when I go to the vet or pet store. He is tame though, and the sweetest dog you’d ever meet. I’ve brought him in and hooked his leash around one of my belt loops. I am female.)

Customer: “Oh, my! What a scary dog! Are you sure it’s not dangerous?”

Me: “Oh, no! He is an absolute sweetie. Don’t worry about him.”

(My dog yawns.)

Customer: “Eeek! He just tried to bite me! Bad dog! BAD DOG!”

Me: “Erm… he’s just yawning.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t take it… What must boys think of you?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I mean, with a terrifying mutt of a dog like that, what man would ever like you?”

Me: “I’m engaged, and I’d appreciate it if you would stop talking to me now.”

Customer: “But- but… ARGH! Fine! No one in here is gonna stop her?! I’ll take care of that d*** mutt myself!”

(She tries to unhook the leash, but it’s hard to detach, and I bat her hands away.)

Me: “What the heck? Get away from me!”

(My dog yawned again and she went white, then frantically ran out of the door.)