These Puns Are Getting Hairier

(A friend and I are texting back and forth about several projects we are working on individually, but often coordinate efforts on. She is working from home, while I am working tech for a conference, but she has sent me screen-caps of a project summary. There is a moustache at the top of the first image.)

Me: “But what if I moustache you a question?”

Her: “You can shave it for later.”

Me: “Or I could goatee the source.”

Her: “That’s a beard solution, but it works.”

Me: “Eyebrows’d through your pictures. It looks interesting.”

Her: “It’s hairy interesting. It tickles my fancy.”

Me: “It might be too much stubble, though.”

Her: “Oh, don’t be lazy… Don’t sit on the sideburns… That’s the best I could come up with.”

Me: “Don’t get your muttonchops in a twist, darling. I’m starting to run out of puns myself… They’re the soul patch on my jeans.”

Her: “YOU WIN. I am officially out. ”

Me: “Me, too. That was fun. We should do it again sometime.”

Her: “Hehehehe we should. It’s growing on me.”

Me: “GROAN.”

Me: “You could always… SHAVE IT OFF.”

Her: “But… it’s beard-iful.”

Me: “Stache it, Rachel.”

Her: “Goatee off.”

Me: “Oh, beehive.”

Her: “Shan’t. But I give up again.”

Me: “Really and truly this time? Is this truce perm-anent? Because you could always combover and talk it out.”

(She sends a little pile of poo emoticon.)

Me: “…There’s poo on my phone.”

Her: “Oh noes. Sounds like a personal problem.”

(Unfortunately, this is a fairly accurate assessment of our relationship.)