Friendship In Troubled Waters

(Two of my roommates have just gone out to a pet store to get supplies because Roommate #1 is getting two cats (a bonded pair) the following week; she also already has a fish tank. I get home to see that there is an additional fish in the tank.)

Me: “[Roommate #1], you got another fish? What, you’re not getting enough new pets in the near future?”

Roommate #1: “Oh, [Roommate #2] bought it for me.”

Roommate #2: *deliberately overdramatic* “Yeah, it’s a symbol of our friendship! As long as it lives, we’ll always be friends!”

Me: “And you got her a fish? How long have they been living on average in this house, two months?”

Roommate #2: “Well, yeah…”

(Sure enough, the fish was dead a month later. We all got a good laugh out of pronouncing their friendship officially dead.)