I Smell The Beer Of An Englishman

(I have flown from the US to London, with a layover in NYC, and land on a Friday afternoon. I was not able to sleep on the flight at all, despite trying. Then, I have to take a one-hour train ride to London from the airport, followed by what feels like a very long walk to the office building where my best friend works. I’ve now gone almost twenty-four hours without sleep, and the walk has drained me much more than expected. I don’t yet have a UK SIM card for my phone, and I don’t know where to find wifi near his office, so all I can do is wait for my friend to get off work and meet me at the spot he asked me to be. I sit down on the steps with my bag, and without realizing it, I’ve nodded off to sleep. Some businessmen across the street enjoying some drinks at a pub call out to me.)

Businessman #1: “Oi, mate! You all right?”

Me: *bleary-eyed* “Huh? Oh, sorry. I’m fine; I haven’t slept in over a day… I just flew in from the US. I’m meeting my friend here. He should be out in…” *checks watch* “…a few minutes.”

(I stand up; obviously sitting won’t work.)

Businessman #2: “Oh, good, okay. We thought you were drugged out or something!” *mimes the motion of a head nodding side to side and forward* “Looked like you were on a bad trip!”

Businessman #1: “Hey, why not let me buy you a pint, mate? Help keep you awake!”

(I should have said yes, but politely declined, thinking in my state a beer was not the best idea. I did thank them for waking me up, as a police officer went by just as they did so. My friend found me a few minutes later, and as we left, the businessmen waved and wished me a good trip. Plenty of friendly Brits in England!)