Having Some Reservations About That Seat

(I’m sat at a table with headphones on waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. The table has three seats, and I am sitting in one of them. A woman approaches and gestures to the empty seats opposite me.)

Woman: “Excuse me, but is this seat taken?”

Me: “Not at the moment, no, bu—”

Woman: *shouting over my head* “Okay, love! Over here!”

(Before I can comment further, the woman proceeds to shove my drink out of the way, and begins to sit down.)

Me: “Um, excuse me? I said that the seat wasn’t taken at the moment, but it will be shortly when the person I am waiting for arrives. Moreover, I didn’t give you permission to sit there, nor did you ask for it, which is extremely rude of you. So if you could kindly move on?”

Woman: “Oh, well, you had your headphones on and I didn’t hear you. Anyway, I’m sitting down now.”

Me: “These prevent me from hearing, not you.”

(The woman begins to argue back, when her husband approaches behind me, and my boyfriend behind her.)

Me: *to my boyfriend* “Sorry. I did save you a seat but it’s been taken.”

Woman’s Husband: *to his wife* “You just randomly sat at this poor woman’s table?!” *to me* “Sorry, love. I’ll get her to move!”

Boyfriend: “Erm, happy birthday?”