Doesn’t Nose What She’s Talking About

(I get frequent, severe nosebleeds in the winter due to the dry air. I’m out at night with some friends and I get one in the store while we’re picking up party foods, so I step out front to let the nosebleed run it’s course while they finish up shopping. A couple of people ask if I need help. I just smile, holding my nose, and let them know what the problem is, and that I’m fine, thanks.)

Woman: “Do you need help?”

Me: “No, but thanks. I just get nosebleeds because of the dry winter air. Happens every year.”

Woman: “I can call someone if you want.”

Me: “My friends are in the store right now, and I have enough for a cab if they should decide for some god-awful reason to leave me here. I’m fine, thanks.”

Woman: “I know a good drug rehab center. You should let me help you.”

(I just stare at her in confusion until she walks off, mumbling about crack-heads.)