Forever Holding Their Peace

(I’m not getting married, but my friend is known to have a crush on my boyfriend.)

Friend: “In 10 years I’m going to go to your wedding and sing ‘Speak Now.'”

Me: “Why? What wedding?”

Friend: “Yours. You know the song, right? You are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl! Don’t say yes. Run away now. I’ll meet you when you’re out and they said speak now.”

Me: “Yeah. Okay, then.”

Friend: “I’ll get a whole team of people.”

Me: “Well, maybe we won’t tell you the location.”

Friend: “We both know you’ll post it on Facebook and boast about it all over the place.”

Me: “You’ve got me there. I would boast the hay out of that.”

Friend: “You’re going to elope now. Aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, if you plan to bring a posse of wedding ruiners. It’s either that or we bring guns.”

Friend: “Too bad. I wanted to ruin a wedding.”

Me: “How about you just break into a church during one and randomly sing. Just to see how many grooms actually go to the back door with you to run away from their brides.”

Friend: “Good plan.”