Giving It To Them Straight

(My best friend and I are complaining about college guys.)

Me: “I don’t know, it feels like they’re always looking for something.”

Best Friend: “I know! I wish I was gay and didn’t have to deal with them.”

Me: “Yeah, me too.”

Best Friend: *pauses, looks at me* “Hypothetically, if we were gay, would you date me?”

Me: *instantly* “No.”

Best Friend: “Wait, what? Why?”

Me: “You wouldn’t be my type.”

Best Friend: *offended* “Well, what would your type be then, huh?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Best Friend: “I just don’t understand why you won’t hypothetically date me if we were both gay!”