Abstain From The Abstinence

(My school gets the full range of sexual education, including abstinence and safe sex. I end up missing the abstinence part of it so my classmates are filling me in.)

Friend #1: “You are so lucky! First they had a speaker come in and tell us why it’s bad to have sex.”

Friend #2: “Yeah, then they handed out these little coin things. I already lost mine.”

Friend #1: “Then they made us learn about STDs. There was a slideshow with PICTURES!”

Friend #2: “It was so awful! I almost puked! You are lucky you missed it.”

Me: “You mean… you guys would rather have four of your teeth surgically removed than see that slide show?”

Friends #1 & #2: “YES!”