Unfiltered Story #98604

(I work loss prevention for an electronics store. I’m also the first person anyone sees when they walk in the door.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name], how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you got that tablet phone?”

Me: “Do you mean [brand name]?”

Customer: “That’s it. 14 inches.”

Me: We do in-

Customer: It’s on your website.

Me: Yes, it-

Customer: Do you sell blue products?

Me: Uh…

Customer: www.blueproducts.com

(I’m just guessing on the URL.)

Me: Wait, the mi-

Customer: Gastro.

Me: …what?

Customer: Gastrointestinal. That’s your problem.

Me: Excu-

Customer: Same reason why the sky is blue.

Me: Wait.

Customer: Fourteen inch tablet.

Me: I… sir?

Customer: I need customer service.

Me: …over there, sir. (I point to the customer service desk.)

Customer: I’ll talk to them.

Me: Okay.

Customer: (walking away, yelling) GASTRO! LOOK IT UP!

(He proceeds to walk away, starts talking to a manager about the tablet, assaults a customer, is asked to leave, and then proceeds to walk into traffic, never to be seen again. By far the most incredible thing to ever happen in my line of work.)