911 Grab Bag: Define “Emergency”

, , , | | Right | November 12, 2007

(The following quotes are from various phone calls made to a West Virginia 911 line.)

1. “What are the Daily Pick Four lottery numbers?”

2. “My TV is out.”

3. “How much snow/rain are we supposed to get?”

4. “Is it illegal to tape a cat to a bottle rocket?”

5. “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”

6. “How high are gas prices going to get?”

7. “Why am I getting Error Message #781 on my computer screen?”

8. “I have never roasted a turkey before and my in-laws will be here in an hour.”

9. “I am reading this recipe. What is fennel?”

10. “I am doing my homework. What is the square root of 435?”

11. “Are crabs in season?”

12. “I wanna talk to a cop about my child support, if you can drag one away from the donut shop.”

13. “I just wanted to make sure you were all awake.”

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  • Trillium

    1. “I know the answer, but I won’t tell you. Incidentally, it’s my last day at work!”

    4. “Hope you burn in hell, sir.”

    5. “Yes, we are. There’s nothing you do about that.”

    8. “Other may shout at you, but I understand what emergency is. Let me get my cookbook…”

    10. “Do you think I would be doing this job if I could do basic math?”

    12. “Sorry, doughnuts take precedence over law enforcement. That’s actually in the law. Everyone knows that.”

    13. “We are now, thank to you, you bastard. *yawn*”

  • Ellie Paine

    At least that last one was kinda sorta reasonable…

  • Vira Vandom

    I have to wonder if this got any better with google’s popularity increase…