Unfiltered Story #90897

(A few coworkers and I are taking a cigarette break. I notice one grimacing while he tries to stretch.)

Me: You okay? Too many tires?

Coworker: Nah, I broke my ribs a bunch of times when I was younger and they kind of.. Pop out sometimes.

Coworker #2: Ew, sounds fun.

Coworker: Yeah, all my misadventures catch up to me. Last night I was lying on my stomach watching TV and my girlfriend had her feet up on my back and it started spasming and she was like *jumps back* ‘WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?’ I said, ‘..My back?’ And she goes, ‘IT’S MOVING!’

Me: Just tell her it’s like one of those massager things.

Coworker: Yeah, except instead of feeling good it just.. Hurts?

Coworker #3: *laughs*

Coworker: Yeah. Let that be a lesson to all of you. Don’t hurt yourself, because.. It hurts.

(We all laugh)

Me: That was very profound.

Coworker #3: Seriously. I’m glad I didn’t miss it.