9 Employees Share Their Most Satisfying Customer Revenge Stories

Ever secretly wished you could get back at a bad customer? Scroll down to read 9 deliciously sweet customer revenge stories!

1. “My boss didn’t know if I should be fired or given an award.”

 

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. May I please have your 16-digit account number?”

Customer: “I can’t.”

Me: “That’s fine. May I please have your Social Security number so I’m able to find you?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need my balance right now!”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that, but I need to be able to look you up in the computer. Do you have your account number or your Social Security number?”

Customer: “I’m on a cell phone. I can’t give you that; it’s not SECURE!”

Me: “Umm… okay? Would you like to call us back on a land-line so that your call is more ‘secure’?”

Customer: “I’m busy! Can’t you just give me my balance?”

Me: “I can as soon as I’m able to look you up in the computer. How would you like me to do that?”

Customer: “I’m not going to do your job for you! Now tell me my balance!”

(At this point, I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Do you have your credit card with you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you please take it out of your wallet and hold it above your head?”

Customer: “Okay, I’m doing that.”

Me: “Thank you, may I please put you on hold while I contact NASA to move the satellite to your location and send us a picture?”

Customer: “Okay, just don’t take too long about it!”

(I place the customer on hold and go on break. Surprisingly, he’s still there when I get back.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we were unable to read the picture. Did you move at all?”

Customer: “Yeah, I put it back in my wallet.”

Me: “Okay, that’s the problem. Could you please just read it to me so I can look up your balance?”

Customer: “NO, I TOLD YOU I’M ON A CELL PHONE AND IN A HURRY!” *customer hangs up*

(My boss didn’t know if I should be fired or given an award.)


2. “I waited a few seconds before I let out a smug, evil laugh.”


(I work in an outlet store. I am on my tenth hour of my fourteen-hour-long shift. So far the day has mostly been pleasant due to nice customers. However, two teenagers (siblings) have been acting obnoxious, shouting, making a mess, and fighting over a box of candy they can’t seem to figure out how to open. They start tearing the box apart, leaving tape and pieces of paper all over the floor. Their mother approaches and I feel thankful, as she seems like a reasonable person and I think this meant the squabbling and littering will finally stop.)

Mother: “What are you two up to? Oh, what a mess.” *looks at me* “Well, at least you’ll have something to do! That’ll be fun, right?”

Me: *speechless*

Mother: “Oh, well, time to go. Bye!”

(As they exit the store, the mother stepped on the tape and paper; it stuck to her shoe, and she dragged all of the garbage out of the shop with her. I waited a few seconds before I let out a smug, evil laugh.)


3. “The customer suddenly throws her phone at my head. I duck and it smashes into the wall in a million pieces.”

 

(Back story: I sold a woman four phones on a family plan for her and her three teenage daughters. She insisted that she be put on the 500 minute plan (the smallest family plan). I informed her that most teenagers can use 500 minutes in a week and begged her to take a larger plan. She refused and became quite angry and belligerent with me for suggesting that her daughters “were not responsible adults.” I noted on her account that she was advised of all overage charges and that there were to be no refunds on the account for overage charges. One month later she returns purple faced and on the verge of a stroke with her $3,200 phone bill.)

Customer: “I need these charges taken off.”

Me: “No. I explained the overage scale to you when you activated your phone, and begged you to take a larger plan. You insisted this was the one you needed and I cannot refund any of the charges.”

Customer: “F**k you then, and f**k [Cellphone Provider]. Cancel my account!”

Me: “I’ll be happy to deactivate your phones but unfortunately that does not release you from your contract. There will be a $240.00 charge for each phone on the account for breaking your contract and you will still be responsible for the current charges.”

(The customer suddenly throws her phone at my head. I duck and it smashes into the wall in a million pieces.)

Customer: “F**K [Cellphone Provider]! F**K YOU, AND F**K ALL OF YOU A**HOLES, TOO!”

(Inexplicably, the last part was directed at the other customers waiting patiently for her to finish. She then proceeds to storm out to her car, a brand new Lexus SC 430. She redlines the engine, drops it into gear, and hits a lamp post hard enough to shatter every piece of glass in the car as well as almost tearing the front half of the car off.)

Customer: *comes back in the store* “Can I use your phone?”

Another Customer: “Karma’s a b**ch, ain’t it?”


4. “I placed a carry-out order there tonight and it’s all f***ed up!”

 

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I placed a carry-out order there tonight and it’s all f***ed up!”

Me: “Ok, ma’am, I’m sure we can resolve this.”

Customer: “This always happens here.”

Me: “Have you placed a lot of carry-out orders with us within the past few weeks?”

Customer: “Yes, four in the past two weeks, and they were all wrong.”

Me: “Were they expensive items? Such as our 20 oz porterhouse or our foie gras? Or were they cheaper items such as potato skins?”

Customer: “Both. Mostly porterhouse steaks, though. And I want free food to make up for all of this, and I want it delivered.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’d be happy to do that.”

Customer: “You’d better be!”

Me: “May I have your name and address. so I can have these delivered?”

Customer: “[Customer]. My address is [Address].”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Just so you know, we have never carried a porterhouse steak, or foie gras. Nor have we had potato skins in the past five years. By the way, we have not done carryout for seven months. And to top it off, the police will soon be heading over to that address that you so graciously gave to me. Undermining a store keeper is a crime in this city. Have a nice night.”


5. “I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”

 

(I am working my very first shift at a new job. The coworker training me has stepped out to make a call. A middle-aged customer comes up to the counter looking cross. As he does a young woman comes through the door and sees him.)

Young Woman: “Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No you don’t!”

(The man turns around to face her in shock.)

Young Woman: “Not a chance! You came in here every single day for a year just to bully and ridicule me! You made me wait on you hand and foot, and complained the whole time, and you’ve yet to actually buy anything! Every day that you came in here — and made my life h*** — I went home and cried! You are nothing but a mean, pathetic loser, and I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME? YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS YOU WORTHLESS B****!”

Young Woman: “Nope, not this time a**-hole! I don’t work here anymore. I got into college. I’m going to make something of myself. Now you go back to your sad angry little life, and don’t you dare harass anyone who works here again!”

(The man turns red, but leaves. The woman comes up to the counter smiling brightly.)

Young Woman: “Hey, you must be the new girl! I used to work here; just dropped by to pick up my last pay-check.”

(She notices my shocked expression.)

Young Woman: “I’ve been bottling that up for a long time. He shouldn’t bother you again.”


6. “Your cart pusher hit my expensive car. I want this store to pay for the repairs.”

 

(A customer cut in front of the cart pusher on a busy day and parks his car in the fire lane. The cart pusher, unable to stop, ends up scratching his car. The customer comes inside, reasonably ticked off, wanting to speak to me, the manager, over the front end. Note: With matters such as this I have no power, so I’m forced to escalate him to the store manager.)

Customer: “Your cart pusher hit my expensive car. I want this store to pay for the repairs.”

Me: That call’s above me; let me get the store manager.” *walks to service desk to call Store Manager*

Customer: “Geez… nobody here knows what they’re doing. Especially those idiots outside.”

Me: “I’m sorry your car was hit, but I don’t have the authority to reimburse you.”

Customer: *verbatim* “You really need to fire those f****** Girl Scouts outside. They don’t know what the f*** they’re doing. I tried asking them for help but they just looked at me like I was r*******.”

Me: “They aren’t employees, sir. They’re volunteering, and essentially renting the space.” *getting frustrated* “They’re also children.”

Customer: “Like I give a s***. If they don’t know how to treat one of your customers, they shouldn’t be allowed on your property.”

(The customer’s wife ends up storming in hysterically at this point. The store manager is also approaching.)

Wife: “The car’s being towed. Apparently we’re not allowed to park in the fire lane anymore!”

(The customer and his wife storm out to try to stop the police and tow truck from towing their car.)

Store Manager: *to me* “What seems to be the issue?”

Me: “Karma seems to have taken care of it for us.”


7. “You are a girl! You have no clue how to help me!”

 

(I provide Internet support over the phone. I am the only qualified technician working today. I also happen to be female.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, hello, sweetheart. I didn’t realize I’d reached the reception. Would you please connect me to Internet support?”

Me: “This is Internet support. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want help with a technical problem. I can’t talk to you. I want to talk to a man!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I’ll be able to help you with your technical problem. I am the qualified technician here today.”

Customer: “You are a girl! You have no clue how to help me! This is man stuff. I demand to speak with a man!”

(This continues for ten minutes. The customer gets more and more aggravated, and starts yelling nasty comments. I give up, and connect him to my coworker, who sits next to me. My coworker is male.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Finally, a man! My Internet is so unstable these days; I can’t seem to stay on it! It takes forever to load and the speed is horrible!”

Coworker: “Sir, I see the problem, and I’m sending a report. It will be fixed on Monday.”

Customer: “What?! It’s Saturday! Why do you have to wait until Monday? I want it fixed now!”

Coworker: “Well, we would need a qualified technician to log into the system to fix your line. It’s Saturday, so there is only one qualified technician working.”

Customer: “Get him to fix it now! I demand to speak with him!”

Coworker: “Sir, you have already spoken to her.”

Customer: “Wait. Her?”

Coworker: “Yes. You spoke to our only qualified technician earlier today. You yelled profanities at her, and demanded to speak to a man.”

Customer: “So, I’ll be lucky if my Internet is up again on Monday?”

Coworker: “You’ll be lucky if you have Internet at all.”


8. “Oh, looks like someone can’t be trusted.”

 

(I am paying for my purchases with a couple of £20 notes. The cashier takes them and uses one of those counterfeit detection pens.)

Woman: *in next checkout, sarcastically* “Oh, looks like someone can’t be trusted.”

(I don’t care to respond, and both notes are deemed genuine. The woman turns back to her cashier and hands them a £50 note. The cashier instantly goes for a pen and the woman gasps.)

Woman: “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. I can assure you it’s real.”

Cashier: “I have to. Anything over £10. I could lose my job if I don’t.”

Woman: “Well, maybe I could speak to a manager for you…”

(The cashier marks the note and even at a distance I can see it turn black. The woman blushes as the cashier calls for a manager.)

Woman Next In Line: *mimicking tone* “Oh, looks like someone can’t be trusted.”


9. “The man follows my gaze, and is horrified to see a police officer…”

 

(A man walks up to my counter with several expensive pairs of dress pants and shirts in one hand, and his phone plastered to his ear, talking a mile a minute.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir! Did you find everything you need?”

(The customer ignores me as he dumps his clothes on the counter.)

Customer: “Anyway so this guy is demanding [large amount] for the Lexus and I’m like, ‘yeah, no way,’ so I…”

(I start ringing him up as he continues to chatter.)

Me: “Okay, do you have your store card with you today?”

(The customer gives me a sour look and points to his phone, apparently upset I’m daring to interrupt his call.)

Customer: “So anyway, I told him he was either going to agree to [larger amount] or he was going to go back to his office empty handed and…”

Me: “Ooookay then.” *I finish ringing up his items* “Your total is [amount].”

(Now the customer just flat out ignores me.)

Customer: “And he said, ‘No, any 2016 Lexus model is worth [smaller amount] as a minimum, and I said ‘Yeah, not when I’m the one buying it, buddy!’”

Me: “Sir, your total is…”

(The man points to his phone again and silently tells me to be quiet.)

Me: “Sir, there’s a line forming behind you. I need you to please—”

Customer: “Hey, do you mind? I’m in the middle of a conversation here!” *goes back to his call* “So I told him, ‘You want me to drive off in this car today? You agree to accept $$$ and not one cent more!’”

(The line behind this guy starts getting restless.)

Me: “Sir, your total is [amount]. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

(The customer just turns away and keeps nattering.)

Customer: “So finally the guy stops being a d*** and accepts my price. Hard won privilege but for a new Lexus it was worth it.”

(I turn as something catches my eye outside the store.)

Me: “Sir, by any chance is that Lexus you’re talking about a [model]?”

Customer: “Huh? Yeah, it is.”

Me: “So it’s that one that’s now being ticketed outside?”

(The man follows my gaze, and is horrified to see a police officer is indeed standing by his car writing a ticket.)

Customer: “What the f***! I thought I still had time on the meter!” *turns to me* “How much for the clothes? And be quick about it!”

Me: “It’s [amount].”

(He pays, snatches the clothes up from the counter, and runs for the door.)

Customer In Line: “Wow, funny how karma always knows just the right moment to strike.”

Me: “It gets even better.” *the man reaches the door, and promptly gets stopped by our security guard as the alarms go off* “He didn’t give me a chance to remove the anti-theft tags.”