8 School Classes Most People Will Never, Ever, Use In Real Life

Learning | February 19, 2016
1. Pretty much everything after algebra.

When’s the last time you needed to calculate the slope of a curve, or taken the derivative of anything? For that matter, how many trains speeding to each other have you dealt with lately?

2. Physics.

Unless you’re planning on making a trip to the International Space Station or you want to have a Black Hole in the middle of your living room and you need to work out how strong the walls need to be to ensure the Earth isn’t destroyed, this is another of the sciences you won’t need to worry about too much after graduation.

3. English Literature.

The famous question was to be or not to be, and it seems this class is not to be. Pretty much no one reads Shakespeare after school, and those that do have a passing interest go and see the movie adaptations instead. Pride has too much prejudice and sense has too little sensibility for the modern mindset. Just grab a copy of Harry Potter instead, those are the books children will be studying in school hundreds of years from now.

4. Woodshop.

You mean you actually have to physically cut the wood? And glue bits together? And sand it down again? How barbaric, has no one ever heard of 3D printing?

5. Chemistry.

The only chemistry most adults need to worry about is at what point C2H6O starts to mess with their heads. (That’s ethanol, by the way, better known to you as alcohol).

6. Any Foreign Language, Ever.

Unless you want to move to the country where the language is from, this is what most students will learn. How to count to ten, how to tell the time, how to say they went swimming during their vacation and how to order some bread and cheese in a store. Basically, just enough to bull-sh*t your way through the exam to get a pass, before promptly forgetting every word to make room for more important knowledge, like the button combination to get the ultimate K.O. in Mortal Kombat X.

7. Basic English.

We live in the world of spell-check, TXT SPK, hashtags and emoticons. The standard English we learn as children might as well be another language, and etymologists for generations to come will always remain perplexed as to how “I love you” became “I less-than-three you.” To quote the title of a Vampire Weekend song: ‘Who gives a f*ck about an Oxford comma.’ These days, that’s no one.

8. History:

You know when your country was founded, when independence days were started and… that’s about it. Abolition of slavery? Nope. Women’s right to vote? Couldn’t tell you. Moonlanding? I don’t know, I’ll ask my dad.

Have you had any particular classes that you’ve never used after school? Share it with your friends!


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