Unfiltered Story #67439

(I’m handling customers at the checkout, with the line being somewhat long. Note that I’m somewhat muscular. After dealing with well behaved thus far, a man, lanky and wearing over-sized clothing, practically tosses his items onto the conveyor belt. These include cartons of eggs, which pretty much crack on impact.)

Customer: *Snapping* “Handle them carefully! I don’t want you f******* losers to mess my s*** up again.

Me: “Alright, whatever you say.”

(At this point, I realize he’s one of those customers. Despite that, I attempt to be as friendly as possible. I neatly and gently begin to bag his groceries, even the cracked eggs. After I finish, I begin to speak to the man.)

Me: “Are these good enough, sir?”

Customer: *Snatches the bags from my hands* “Maybe. Alright.. alright.. alright.. alri- WHAT THE F***!? These eggs are f***** cracked!”

Me: “That’s because you threw them, sir.”

Customer: “You think you’re smart, huh!? I’ll f****** take you outside, and teach you a lesson, b****! I’ll f******* kick your a**!”

Me: *I size him up* “Alright, go ahead.”

Customer: *Clearly taken aback* “What? Seriously?*

(The customer’s face starts to change from a very pissed off, to nervous.)

Me: *Cracks knuckles and neck* “Yeah, sure. I haven’t had a good fight in a long time.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no, no! I mean, uh, I was joking! Yeah, you don’t have to get angry, dude!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

(There’s a long, awkward pause. Me and him had to be silent for 30 seconds, straight.)

Me: “So um.. Cash or credit?”