Unfiltered Story #67397

Unfiltered | December 25, 2016

It was Christmas.

Customer: I’m looking for two things. First: your biggest spider. Second: I need trains that hook together magnetically so you can drag them along.

Me: This is the only spider we have. It’s pretty big.

Customer: This is perfect. My ex-wife has this great horror of spiders. They’re going their for Christmas.

Me; Oh! My dad and I did something similar to my mom. I’ll show you the trains.

Customer: My wife will be angry about the spider, but I can’t help myself.

Me: Well, if you can’t laugh at someone else, what can you laugh at?

Customer: She wanted me to do two things I just wouldn’t do. First: she wanted me to beat her. I wouldn’t do that. I don’t hit women. I just don’t. Next: she wanted me to make her a widow. She found men who *would* do that for her. She’s on her fourth husband, now. I warned them not to eat the food.