Unfiltered Story #67021

I am eating dinner with my girlfriend and her mother, when she mentions that she has never been to a funeral.

Me: Wait…you’ve never been to a funeral?

Girlfriend: Um…no?

Me: …OK, we’re going to get our children short-lived pets, so their first experience of death will be when they’re young enough to be comforted by sitting on their parents’ laps.

They both look at me oddly, as I’m unusually passionate about this point.

Me: No, seriously! The point of having your grandparents die when you’re little is so, when your friend dies in college, it isn’t the first time you’ve faced it!

Girlfriend’s mother: (faking anger) I’m so sorry about my longevity! I AM only 45!

Me: We’ll figure something out. Our kids are NOT going to make it to 20 without experiencing death.

Gf’s mother: (as if completing my sentence) …even if we have to…! *makes stabbing motion*