His Parents Had Huge Expectations

(Part of my job involves arranging courier delivery of packages, which is done by phone. The courier service likes to have the recipient’s name first, so they can look up the address if it’s already on file from a previous run.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from [Company]. I have a pick-up for you.”

Dispatcher: “Go ahead. Who is it going to?”

Me: “Recipient’s name is Hugh [Last name].”

Dispatcher: “First name is… Huge?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Er, Hugh, H-U-G-H.”

(I spent the rest of the evening pleasantly distracted, wondering what it would be like to go through life with the first name ‘Huge’, and inventing all sorts of awkward scenarios and life choices for the poor man thus afflicted.)