Unfiltered Story #56878

Portland, OR | Unfiltered | July 9, 2016

My boss isn’t particularly tech savvy. She’s in her 30s and she still feels the need to say that her email address is all lower case or that this website or that website is at “http colon two reverse slashes” and that it’s all one word.

But compared to the little old lady that works at our store, she’s like an early 90s hacker film.

We have a new clock system. We, in 2016, still used punch cards on military time and baffling “minutes per hour divided up into 100” that usually made new workers wonder how they clocked on at 14.95. Now we do it all through a website. We’ve all had to be trained on it and it’s quite simple, assuming it works. However, said little old lady works once a week, is known for being between 5 and 20 minutes late, and has severe ADD to the point that she keeps customers waiting to be checked out while she talks about 7, somehow interconnected stories that she was reminded of because they bought a vase.

Boss: “Okay, click the button marked ‘Associate Login.'”

Employee: “I… don’t see it.”

B: “It’s in the middle of the screen on the right.”

E: “Where?” (She begins waving the mouse wildly.)

B: “Right THERE, EmployeeName.” (She points.)

E: “Oh, that says time clock.”

B: “The one ABOVE THAT, Employeename.”

E: “Oh. It’s funny, all these buttons look exactly the same, they just have different names. That’s confusing. That reminds me of–”

B: “OKAY, SO CLICK ON IT.” (Employee does. Boss calms down, slightly.) “Okay, your screen name is the initials of the store, and your employee number.

E: “What are the initials of the store?”

B: “…Do you not know the name of the store you work at?”

E: “No, it’s StoreName (will use SN as the initials from here out).”

B: “…and what are the initials?”

E: “I don’t know.”

B: “The first word begins with S, so S. The second word begins with N, so N.”

E: “Oh, okay.” (She types in SSOSNSON)

B: “EMPLOYEE NAME! NO. JUST S AND JUST N.”

E: “Well you said it was S so S and N so N. I’m sorry.” (She types in SN and looks for guidance.)

B: “…then your employee number.”

Employee starts typing in her birth date.

B: “Is… is that your birthday? Is that what that is? No, not your birthday. Your employee number.”

E: “Oh, so social security?”

B: (She has to take a moment to take a few deep breaths. She’s turning red and visibly shaking and begins saying each syllable very precisely.) “No. Employee Name. Your. Em. Ploy. Ee. Num. Ber. The one you use to log in to the registers.”

E: “Oh! Okay.” (She begins typing in her password associated with the login.) “You know, I always just use 12345 for my password, until I have to redo it, then I do 23456 and carry it on. (At this point, she has SN12345 typed in.)

B: “NOT YOUR PASSWORD, EMPLOYEE NAME. AND DON’T TELL US YOUR PASSWORD. YOUR EMPLOYEE NUMBER. THE THING YOU TYPE IN TO GET TO YOUR STUPID PASSWORD.”

E: “Oh. I don’t know that.”

B: “You don’t know your employee number? Have you never used the registers before?”

E: “Oh, the register number?”

B: “Wait. What?”

E: “Oh, the register number. The one I have to type in at the register.”

B: “Fine. Yes. That.” (Our employee numbers begin with 2. The employee types in a long number that starts with a 0.) “WHAT NUMBER IS THAT?”

E: “It’s the register number.” (It takes a few minutes, but then we determined that she just skipped the first three digits of her employee number… for some reason. She corrected that error, but then…)

B: “Okay, now put in your password.”

E: “What’s my password?”

B: “Literally anything you want, with a lowercase, an uppercase, number, and symbol, and it has to be at least 8 long.”

E: (I expected her to type in atleast8long, but instead she loudly declares that she’ll use her name, the @ symbol, and recites her social security number.At that point, she had finally logged in. She gets told how to log in and submit her time card at the end of the night. She logged in four times, logged out zero, and submitted her time card to the amount of 20 hours in one four hour shift.)

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